Another dog of ours died.

I wasn't completely awake yet when my mom announced it to me. "Gab, wala na si Spotty." It seemed nothing at first, but then my mom added, "Parang natutulog nga lang siya e. Ginigising ng Tito mo, pero ayaw talaga."

I got up to check. At yun nga siya, parang tulog lang talaga. I even stared, waiting for his body to rise a little, waiting for him to breathe, but he was a little too still. And the stench was becoming more unbearable. My eyes welled up, it was too much. I even saw the light orange spot on his tummy, and I started to wonder if that was the source, or if it was just a result of the complication.

I wasn't really attached to him, but the fact that I used to see him almost everyday and wasn't able to the past few weeks really broke my heart.

He was so gentle. I used to open the back door and the other dog would rush its way, but he -- he just stayed there.

My mom isn't crying, no one else is, but me.
I dunno why, yet I think it's because I'm not used to this. I'm not new to this, either, but it isn't frequent in my life.

Unexpected kasi. My brother told me that Spotty have had an illness for quite a while. Sabi pa nga nya, "Late ka na sa news e!" at nagpigil akong manabunot. :))

I just hope he does save someone, like what everyone here thinks.
We will miss you, Spotty. :(
I'm mourning, yes, but I'm glad you didn't have to suffer.
We love you.
Rest in peace.

I've decided to delete some posts. It's not that I don't want you to see them anymore, it's just that I'm having this slight paranoia that someone *else* might see them.

And I'll get flustered if that happens. :)

To all those who actually liked the chosen posts, I'm really sorry & I'll try making up for them by adding better ones soon. I wasn't really thinking & just now I've realized that there's nothing more left to do but this.

Please, people. Leave messages on my tagboard! How will I know if you're still kicking? :))

New post!

I cop a plea to Ate Rina for not being able to give updates. :|

Anyway, here it is! My 47th post. :)) K, mas marami na yung sa inyo. Sorry lang. :))
And I'll make this extra special by giving forth messages to everyone who authenicated my thicks and thins. K, ang weird. :))
Here goes nothing. :))

No classes!

Happy Independence Day, everyone. :>

I opened the door but there was no knob.
I drove my car but there was no wheel.
I turned on the lights but there was no switch.
I drank some milk but I held no glass.
I hid in the closet but it was seen through.
I read a book but no words were written.
I was washed away but there was no water.

I did everything but I realized there was nothing after all.

Does opaqueness still exist?

When will I be able to conceal this?

I've edited my 4th from the last post. :) Well, the last part, that is. :))
Anywaysss. I've put a simple quote right at the end. If you wanna re-read it, feel free to do so. :)

WOW. Still raining.

Classes have started & I'm not sure whether I should be excited or anxious about it. Two of my HS bullies are now my classmates again. I don't know if I'm just plain paranoid, or if there's really something going on, but I know those two have got their plans and sooner or later, they're going to execute those plans on me. Ahh, don't I just get the best luck?

However, that's not the one bothering me right now. Last night, Jom and I had a talk. :)))) I was so shallow I cried after hearing him say this: "Mahirap maghintay sa bagay na matagal pang dadating.." OK, rewind. :)) If you're wondering why he said this, well, let's just put it like this -- I'm exhausted, but my body's not the one feeling it. Hindi ako emo. :)) I dunno.

But I'm really depressed.

Yes, drama queen na ako. Happy? :)) REALLY. I want to know if waiting for 3 years is enough sign for me to stop this. It makes me think the complete opposite, though -- that I've proven I'm tough and I should keep this a little while longer. I know it's wrong. Keeping this inside is not good, and while I'm doing this I'm hurting myself more.

It's even harder to realize that each time I look at him feels like the day I first liked him. If it goes on like this, when will it ever stop? :| :|

But what am I supposed to do? I can't confront. I can't defend myself. I don't know how to deal with this.

"True love endures, if it does not, then it was never true."

Another dog of ours died.

I wasn't completely awake yet when my mom announced it to me. "Gab, wala na si Spotty." It seemed nothing at first, but then my mom added, "Parang natutulog nga lang siya e. Ginigising ng Tito mo, pero ayaw talaga."

I got up to check. At yun nga siya, parang tulog lang talaga. I even stared, waiting for his body to rise a little, waiting for him to breathe, but he was a little too still. And the stench was becoming more unbearable. My eyes welled up, it was too much. I even saw the light orange spot on his tummy, and I started to wonder if that was the source, or if it was just a result of the complication.

I wasn't really attached to him, but the fact that I used to see him almost everyday and wasn't able to the past few weeks really broke my heart.

He was so gentle. I used to open the back door and the other dog would rush its way, but he -- he just stayed there.

My mom isn't crying, no one else is, but me.
I dunno why, yet I think it's because I'm not used to this. I'm not new to this, either, but it isn't frequent in my life.

Unexpected kasi. My brother told me that Spotty have had an illness for quite a while. Sabi pa nga nya, "Late ka na sa news e!" at nagpigil akong manabunot. :))

I just hope he does save someone, like what everyone here thinks.
We will miss you, Spotty. :(
I'm mourning, yes, but I'm glad you didn't have to suffer.
We love you.
Rest in peace.

I've decided to delete some posts. It's not that I don't want you to see them anymore, it's just that I'm having this slight paranoia that someone *else* might see them.

And I'll get flustered if that happens. :)

To all those who actually liked the chosen posts, I'm really sorry & I'll try making up for them by adding better ones soon. I wasn't really thinking & just now I've realized that there's nothing more left to do but this.

Please, people. Leave messages on my tagboard! How will I know if you're still kicking? :))

New post!

I cop a plea to Ate Rina for not being able to give updates. :|

Anyway, here it is! My 47th post. :)) K, mas marami na yung sa inyo. Sorry lang. :))
And I'll make this extra special by giving forth messages to everyone who authenicated my thicks and thins. K, ang weird. :))
Here goes nothing. :))

No classes!

Happy Independence Day, everyone. :>

I opened the door but there was no knob.
I drove my car but there was no wheel.
I turned on the lights but there was no switch.
I drank some milk but I held no glass.
I hid in the closet but it was seen through.
I read a book but no words were written.
I was washed away but there was no water.

I did everything but I realized there was nothing after all.

Does opaqueness still exist?

When will I be able to conceal this?

I've edited my 4th from the last post. :) Well, the last part, that is. :))
Anywaysss. I've put a simple quote right at the end. If you wanna re-read it, feel free to do so. :)

WOW. Still raining.

Classes have started & I'm not sure whether I should be excited or anxious about it. Two of my HS bullies are now my classmates again. I don't know if I'm just plain paranoid, or if there's really something going on, but I know those two have got their plans and sooner or later, they're going to execute those plans on me. Ahh, don't I just get the best luck?

However, that's not the one bothering me right now. Last night, Jom and I had a talk. :)))) I was so shallow I cried after hearing him say this: "Mahirap maghintay sa bagay na matagal pang dadating.." OK, rewind. :)) If you're wondering why he said this, well, let's just put it like this -- I'm exhausted, but my body's not the one feeling it. Hindi ako emo. :)) I dunno.

But I'm really depressed.

Yes, drama queen na ako. Happy? :)) REALLY. I want to know if waiting for 3 years is enough sign for me to stop this. It makes me think the complete opposite, though -- that I've proven I'm tough and I should keep this a little while longer. I know it's wrong. Keeping this inside is not good, and while I'm doing this I'm hurting myself more.

It's even harder to realize that each time I look at him feels like the day I first liked him. If it goes on like this, when will it ever stop? :| :|

But what am I supposed to do? I can't confront. I can't defend myself. I don't know how to deal with this.

"True love endures, if it does not, then it was never true."